As a business coach, I ask my clients, “Have you ever had any of these experiences?”

~ You drive home from work and then don’t remember how you got there.

~ You sit through a meeting or business coaching session and can’t account for what happened in the meeting, the outcome or the details.

~ You read a book to your child or grandchild and can’t recall what the book was about.

~ You work out and have so much mind chatter that you’re not even sure what muscles you were working.

~ You have a conversation with a colleague and miss the important undercurrents of that discussion because your mind was elsewhere.

~ You give a presentation and miss the impact you’re having on the audience because you’re too busy wondering, “How am I doing as a public speaker?”

~ You have an argument, and you’re so busy proving your point, you miss the others’ points completely AND any opportunity for alignment.

~ You go home at night and spend time with your family, only to think about everything that happened at work today and what’s about to happen tomorrow.

Sound familiar? Perhaps the better business coaching question, instead of “Have you ever experienced any of these?” is: “Have you experienced any of these things today?”

We’re talking about presence. Being PRESENT is defined as “existing or being in the time occurring NOW.”

I work with business coaching clients on several kinds of presence: “Leader’s Presence”, “Emotional and Mental Presence” and “Physical Presence.” It’s essential to pay attention to all three in order to be aware of your impact, create intentional impact and be present to your life. Because if you’re not present to your life, what is the point? Truly. Think about that. IF YOU ARE NOT PRESENT TO YOUR LIFE – WHAT IS THE POINT?

We’re given the beautiful gift of life, relationships, family, work we can love, health, emotions, the ability to make an impact, gain work/life balance and so much more. We could go through our days with our minds in other places, missing all the beautiful gifts of the moment, wishing we were an hour, a day or a week ahead. We could yearn to be somewhere other than where we are NOW. Or we can go through our lives, each day, conscious of each moment – easy or hard, stressful or peaceful, mundane or exhilarating.

When we are fully present, we experience LIFE. We can see more clearly what has to happen. We can see the truth about the moment. We can see the truth about our impact. We can fully feel our feelings: joy, anger, sadness or excitement. We are present.

It is from this place that life happens. It is in this place we actually can find authentic emotions, and ultimately peace, in the moment. It is in this place that we can better identify, as leaders in our own lives, what needs to happen next.

Field Work Challenge: This month, notice when you’re present in the moment and when you’re not. Do you find it challenging to stay present 100% of the time? Most of us do. So, no big deal, just notice the impact.

What do you miss out on when your mind is multi-tasking? On what relationships and connections do you miss out? What opportunities are lost? What shifts for you when you are present to your life? What do you realize needs to be ‘cleaned up’ when you are present? What shifts when you walk through your day fully awake? Fully engaged?

When you notice you’ve lost presence, ‘recover’ and come back to the moment. It’s actually that simple. Enjoy your month. Savor your life. DARE to fully engage.

Nearly everything in life worth achieving, requires some sort of negotiating skills. While many people say they know how to negotiate, it is important to realize that is far different from effectively doing so. Therefore, both regarding our personal lives, as well as many skills associated with business expertise, effective negotiation is a key to excellence. When we not only know how to do this, but also consistently utilize the skills, assets, attitudes and abilities, which put you in the best position, we are most capable of achieving things which so many others are not. Understand this requires doing one’s homework, being prepared (ready), and following a quality game plan. Let’s review the 6-step, professional approach:

1. Know your objectives: Only if you enter into the process, knowing what you want to accomplish and achieve, have a clear vision of your goals, and follow a path, in an orderly manner, will you achieve what you seek or need. One of the biggest mistakes poor negotiators often make, is either under-estimating their adversary, over-stating what they promise, fail to differentiate between essential priorities versus wants, don’t understand the need to clearly articulate and tell the truth, etc.

2. Know adversary’s objectives/needs: You might wonder why it is so important to know what the other side needs. Quality negotiating is not about merely asking for the moon, because unless the other side, gets what it needs, the process will often fail. For example, if you negotiate with a hotel or a caterer, why would you believe they would agree to lose money. In that instance, create a process which creates and/or seeks a win-win, where together you reach concepts which might save money, which can then be passed along. In real estate, quality negotiating is never about merely pressuring the owner (if you represent the buyer), to lower the price dramatically, but rather getting the lowest price possible, which will be accepted and close the process, creating a meeting of the mind.

3. Absolute integrity: Amateurs sometimes proceed by overstating what they can deliver, and, their side suffers, when inevitably it is discovered to be so. Rather, one of the necessities of profession negotiations, is to consistently maintain absolute integrity!

4. Full disclosure: Clearly articulate your musts, which are those needs, often referred to as deal-breakers! Explain you want to work together to make it work, and seek alternative approaches or methods, that will make it work well for both sides!

5. Think outside the box: Forget the same-old, same-old philosophy, mentality or approach! Rather, carefully consider alternatives, work with (rather than constantly against) the other side, and develop mutually satisfying approaches. For example, when negotiating with a hotel and/or caterer, clearly explain what you offer/the advantages to them(e.g. common menus, flexibility of menu and service, etc). Seek ways where both sides can win!

6. Come to a win-win, meeting of the minds: Only when both sides come away, feeling they were somewhat successful, and met their needs and objectives, do you get the longer-term, best results. Great negotiator realize that winning does not mean defeating the other side, but rather coming to an agreement which works, and achieves objectives!

I’ve often stated negotiations should usually be left to the professionals, because, the process goes more smoothly, and a greater proportion of goals and objectives are met. When you understand the basics, and focus on the end-result, you will become a far better negotiator.

As a seasoned public speaker of many venues, I can tell you there’s a big difference between giving a speech and giving a presentation. One cannot, of course, teach presentation skills without teaching basic speech skills, and vice versa. The two are closely related in terms of understanding how to use body language, voice, eye contact and other techniques. But while there are many similar and overlapping skills, the difference lies in the objective.

Let’s start with giving a Speech.

If you’ve taken any speech classes in college, you’ve probably heard there are three types of speeches: informative, persuasive and entertaining. While this is fairly accurate, it won’t help in discerning between speeches and presenting because many think they are one in the same. But they are not.

Primarily, the purpose of a speech is to simply deliver a message. Often, a speech does not require the use of visual aids because a good speech can actually stand on its own without support or explanation. At the end of an effective speech, an audience will be stirred into thinking in a way or doing something they may not have before hearing it.

But most of us of in everyday life will generally hear two kinds of speeches: the kind that entertain and the kind that aim to change thinking or attitudes. After-dinner speeches and wedding toasts are in the former camp, most others in the latter. The “change” speeches can still have entertaining elements, but their purpose goes beyond that. Consider eulogies, for example. A eulogy is, or should be, in honor of the deceased. It should therefore connect with, and hopefully uplift the hearts of the mourners. It’s a speech, not a presentation, and the intention is to generate affection and good feelings.

Speeches are often, but not always, written out word for word and are given by individuals who normally don’t speak to crowds, or at least don’t regularly engage in public speaking (presidential speeches are an obvious exception). This is why a person giving a speech can and is usually expected to read the speech from paper or a teleprompter. An experienced speech giver, however, will still attempt to make the reading sound like he or she is actually talking to the audience at a personal level rather than just reading to no one in particular.

Many speeches also tend to be formal in nature. Consider how graduation speeches or State of the Union Addresses are delivered. Because of the formality, the speech would sound very similar from one audience and situation to another. But while it’s true that from some speeches there have been spontaneous outpourings of impromptu words and passion, most stay within the script.

Now let’s talk about Presenting.

A presentation needs a proposition and typically, a call to the audience for decisive action afterward. A good presenter understands that he or she is putting on a performance to a degree. Presenting is a form of art, a direct connection with an audience that engages people on intellectual and emotional levels. It should be designed to give an audience an experience, not just information. Presentations involve more entertainment, more senses and more activity from both the speaker and audience. An effective presentation is an orchestration of many pieces of many things to enhance the message.

Presentations tend to be less formal and the material should not be delivered by means of reading from a script. In fact, they should never be written word for word, or even memorized word for word. A seasoned presenter knows how to use notes with just key or “trigger” words to remind him or her of what to say. Also, presentations will often employ storytelling that the presenter can do off the cuff and from the heart.

The beauty of a presentation is that the presenter can be spontaneous and add, modify, or eliminate material according to the audience’s reaction or things like distractions or time constraints. This is why the same presentation can be delivered in vastly differently ways depending on the crowd and venue. And unlike speeches, presentations often will involve the use of visual aids to stir emotion or drive a point. At the end of a presentation, if the presenter has been effective, audience members will not only be moved to do something afterwards, they will also have some new knowledge in their mental arsenal to take away.

Finally, another purpose of presentations is to make a sale. A presentation geared toward selling is an emotionally compelling one designed to create a perceived need to buy the product, whatever it may be. Everything the presenter does and shows will be engineered to create and feed that need. Such a speaker will usually have books or DVDs or sign-up sheets waiting in the back.

In summary, if you’re going to be a speaker at some engagement and trying to decide what format to use, a good question to ask is: What is the purpose of my talk? The answer to that question will help you decide what you’re there to do for your audience, what they expect, and how you’re going to deliver it.